The Universe (all Soulmates):
Take the typical classroom (typical desks, no long tables or other little things,) inside the classrooms there are classmates – the whole class – ones who sit closest to us, to the left, right, front and back, depending on how the classroom is made.  They can represent a biological family, Soul Family, close friend, other… They all represent soulmates.  Now, in the classroom, those who sit closest to us represent the close kind of soulmates we hear about all the time.

Not everyone will share a desk, their notes and books in every classroom, but for those of us who do, the person we share our desk and ALL our belongings with is the one  we call an Eternal Soulmate or Twin Flame.

We attempt to explain or understand the Source and His Creations in different ways (such as Teal Swan’s deal with the ocean and its waves, and others who talk about the sun’s rays).  For me, knowing the sense of closeness I feel for some could mean that a certain Being is in the same class (Soul Family/classmate) as me explains a lot.  Not everybody we feel close to is a Twin Flame or a soulmate that we’re destined to spend eternity with.  We have very close friends, friends we’ve sat next to in class and had active communication (lifetimes) with for… who knows how long.

We are all Beings learning and growing together, no matter what dimension we currently live in.  We are all Beings learning and growing together, no matter what role we’re currently playing.  We all are soulmates.



Eternal Soulmate Groups Part I

🕊🕊🕊 Colorful Seven
“Like psychedelic snakes in the vortex, communication knows of the Love I have for the Universe.  Through an Empathic Heart – green and wide open – up through blue words, up through the Crown’s dust, then back and through each question.  Like snakes in the vortex, they creep ’round each cog; fine tuning each cog, slinking ’round each core’s colorful seven.” 🕊🕊🕊 – by Amina Caprice Andolini 

In Soulmates Along the Path, I mentioned reading and appreciating other people’s definitions.  I discussed a few of my own experiences with soulmates in the Soul Friendthe Kindred Spirit Soulmate, and now, Eternal Soulmate Groups Parts I and II

The deep, inexplicable, depressing pain I experienced after the Cosmic Sleeper Soulmate left me behind was nothing compared to the shock – shock when I found out about my mother’s cancer.  Shock because I became her caretaker.  Nothing compared to the shock I felt after she passed away back in 2008, the day after my daughter’s 14th birthday.  As I mentioned in some other blog, I had a real heart ache.  I didn’t know a person’s heart could hurt like that; pains radiating outward and inward like the sun’s rays.  It felt like someone squeezed all the life out of it, and then continued to squeeze until there was nothing left to squeeze.  I did not want to believe that God Himself could be so cruel, to take the person who knew me better than anybody did, the one who could figure out what was wrong with me before I even told her, the one who gave me what I came to know as unconditional love.

I didn’t know if I was dying or not, but in all honesty, I wanted to die.  Anything could feel better than this, I thought.  Not only did I not know anything about the heart ache jazz, I didn’t know or believe in a lot of things before my strange ordeal took place.

The year was 2009 (almost exactly six months after my mother passed away).  I have always “heard” things, so when I heard a Voice from the Sky talking to me, I did not pay much attention to it.  To me, it was a plain old case of mental telepathy.  I thought it was, I don’t know who or what I thought it was 😳.  Honestly, I didn’t care about a lot of things that took place after my mother’s death.  I’m like… what could be worse than this!  Anyway, after a series of events took place, including the Voice dropping a bunch of clues as to what his name was when he walked Earth, materializing and bringing friends, the Voice alluded to being one of my Guides.  The Voice was my Guide; he came across as an Unconditional Friend, someone who knew my mom, but I knew there was something else going on with him.  My Guide seemed bored, as if he didn’t want to come to Earth.  I could feel him lingering around, watching, protecting, picking at his fingernails and doing this thing like falling asleep.  I felt his thoughts as they drifted off to another place.

I didn’t know much about telepathy, the sixth sense, whatever you wanna call it.  All I knew is that I could do it sometimes.  I didn’t know much about Guides, Angels, what have you, so I thought my Guide was bored of me.  Bored because I was so hardheaded, because I questioned him so much, because I spoke to him like I would speak to an old friend (his Energy felt familiar, as if I’d known him forever).  I thought he got tired of me doubting around, trying to make sure he wasn’t some evil Spirit, one slobbering around, trying to take advantage of my grief.  I knew he was a nice guy, so nice that I felt bad for the need to question him so much. Coming from a Christian background, one where a good number of sheep run around paranoid, thinking everyone and everything is a demon from the pit, it was in my nature to make sure he was who he said he was.  I didn’t know of any other way to do it.  These things (telepathy, protection, empathic skills, etcetera) came so easy to me at the time, I thought I could have been a witch.  I didn’t know.  I had to do a lot of reading just to come to grips with being able to speak with a Spirit through my Heart Chakra in that way.  During that time, I had issues with religion and so many other things in the Matrix, since the things I could see with my own eyes were way different from some of the things I’d been taught to believe my entire life.  They were different but they didn’t feel wrong.  Also, I wasn’t sure who to pray to, and so while meditating, I said “I’m talking to the One Who Created All.”  I had no time for mental tricks, comical ghosts and all those other wise cracking spirits.  I wanted real answers.  Who better to go to for protection than to the One who created Satan, demons, the evil things and the things we think are evil?  Who better to go to for the Truth than to the Master Creator – to the One Who Created All?

I could tell my Guide tried his best not to scare me.  He didn’t want me to get all nervous, paranoid, whatever you call it, and send him away. I could feel his sadness, his patience; I knew he was the one sending telepathic thoughts about Spirit communication, the Afterlife, and other random things.  He felt like such an old friend.  We’d grown to be even closer friends; the best of friends.  We used to laugh and play around all the time, still, I was puzzled as to why he materialized in the first place.  We were friends and all, but with him, if I asked him something he didn’t always answer me directly.  He didn’t try to keep anything from me either.  He was into sending messages; finding ways for me to figure out the answer on my own.

I wanted to know why he hung around me so much.  I knew “being a Guide” wasn’t his only reason for visiting me.  Soon I started to get all of these directions towards Spirits, the differences between the “Good” Spirits and the “Bad” Spirits, Ghosts (the difference between ghosts and Spirits), stuff about God, Satan, religion (the difference between religion and spirituality), the Afterlife, all sorts of wonderful instruments to research.

After I’d learned a bit more about Spirits, spirituality, the Afterlife and such, I got this crazy pull to sites that mentioned the different kinds of soulmates.  There was a rather unusual pull to Twin Flames – I can’t explain how strong the pull was.  I kept on going to sites that spoke of Twin Flames, from the sickly sweet sites to the more technical ones.  I must admit, early on in the journey, during the “bubble phase,” I did not understand what certain people talked about – Higher Self, 4 and 5D, Graduate Souls, merging the five bodies, Kundalini Energy, the 12 chakra system, burning templates, the healing potential, and so on.  I didn’t understand what felt like their irritation regarding the sickly sweet sites either.  Those sites helped me out so much!  Later on, I understood that the irritation was more so for the people who thought the bubble love phase is all there is to a Twin Flame union.

Hold up… soulmate?  Twin Flame?  I had never heard of a “Twin Flame” in my life!

There was a need to find out who this Spirit dude really was, to find out everything I could about different types of soulmates, the Twin Flame consciousness and what it meant.

Soulmates Along the Path

The soulmate situation is rather taboo in my world.  It’s something many people experience but would rather not discuss out loud – not in lengthy breaks.  It’s a collective belief, that the rose petals and pinkish happenings have settled themselves in fairy tales, prince and princess kid movies, and etcetera.  Once a kid grows up, the world now expects them to put all of those lies out of their mind and focus on being a slave in the “real world.”  Commerce loves it when adults stick to hooking up for traditional, commonsense reasons.  As with some of the early marriages of the 1950s/1960s, reasons such as prominence, livelihood, the domestic front and finance only benefit Big Business.

So what about the hippies who’d like to trip to the desert (the Dark Night) and experience something totally Spiritual?

I thank God for other people’s posts and definitions – from the watered down, cookie cutter and flowery to the technical, seemingly harsh and discerning.  I thank them all, ‘cuz when some of that strange brew materialized in my halls at midnight, I almost lost it.  I had no idea what was happening to me.  I scrambled around, looking for definitions and/or a story the least bit similar to mind.  Yeah, I’d been familiar with the word soulmate for a very long time; however, before my Spiritual Journey, I thought it only referred to Angels or some kind of lifelong partner.  I didn’t realize there were several soulmates.  I didn’t realize that the soulmate was allowed to come and go, to be more or less evolved spiritually.  I didn’t know that the soulmate could be so weird.  I must admit, I fell for the cookie cutter, rose-colored definitions, those that based everything on fate and the magic of its cosmic remembrance.  I didn’t know the relationships could be so difficult and so… so bizarre.  Since my definitions did not match the rosy ones, I thought I was losing it.  Yes, I appreciate everybody’s sense on the subject, but years on the Journey has taught me that soulmate encounters are supposed to be personal, intimate, tailored to fit one’s Soul.  Not every relationship will fit into somebody else’s snug little box.  Not all relationships will have a name, strict rules, guidelines, signs and symptoms.  There is a knowing, but whether that person will respond or not is up to their Free Will.

I studied many people’s definitions.  Some resonated a little, some resonated a lot, some did not resonate at all.  I could tell that some did the ‘copy paste’ thing instead of writing about their experiences – at least the first hand knowledge of someone close to them.  Some definitions were very personal – too personal – so personal that I couldn’t relate.  Some definitions were so professional, so Pig Latinish, so textbook, that it seemed as if I had a mental problem.  Oh, and I won’t go into detail about the strict Christians, those who all but said I’m a demon from the bloody inferno and would like nothing more but to bring all of “God’s people” down here with me.  I had the hardest time with Christian doctrines.  Most of the stuff I read and some of the people I mentioned this stuff to were convinced that I’d been shaking hands with Satan Himself, as if he really gives a bag of crap about my dope show.  As if he really wants to show his angular face around anything dealing with Unconditional Love and blinding Light.  After reading lots of material about this stuff, I gathered my own definitions based on personal experience.  Nothing too personal (that’s strictly for the Gothic Romantics).

With that being said, there are staples or wisdoms most are familiar with – I think only to give us a physical sense of being on the right track.  Although many have these encounters, some feel as if their personal encounter is too intimate to talk about.  I understand.  Some are quite anxious to spread the word.  I understand that one too.  In all the excitement, we mustn’t forget that there is no cookie cutter paradigm.  Not all examples are exactly the same.  Some will resonate, some will not resonate, some will team up with their Guides and invent other words to calm their Soul’s perspective.  As far as I know, nobody’s going around tying themselves in boxes and deeming themselves better or worse than other people (if they do, then they should check the ego).  The soulmate situation is deep, Spiritual, one-of-a-kind and a collective experience.  It’s not a fairy tale – that’s only what the “real world’s” pimp hand teaches.

I’m tired… I’ll discuss the types of soulmates I’ve met along my path in another post.



Chicken Liver Empath (Part III)

In my case, I think the fact that I didn’t love myself stemmed from not being around CERTAIN TYPES of soulmates.  I couldn’t see myself in everyone’s eyes, and that was okay; that was expected.  I searched for “something” in other people and got disappointed most every time.  I thought it was normal, that I was not normal because I expected so much.  I know how to love unconditionally, but all I got was conditional behavior, low vibrations, and I didn’t understand them – I didn’t understand why.  Others judged me in terms of the “normal” everyday person and that hurt me.  I knew I wasn’t normal in that sense.  They knew I wasn’t normal in any sense, still, they judged me like they would a normal person.  Sometimes the hurt came across as anger but it was genuine hurt.  My feelings were always getting hurt.

Yes, even though I felt as if it was my job to secretly take on other people’s emotions, to understand, forgive and all that jazz, the fact that other people had the nerve to judge me so harshly was borderline offensive.  I let all that stuff get to me in the past because I really didn’t know what was going on in my life.  I thought the problem was that I cared too deeply about other people.  I tried to shut it off but I couldn’t.  I cannot stop caring about people.  I didn’t know how to transmute the negative effectively.  I also had to learn to love myself unconditionally and nurture my feelings, especially in the instance of soulmates – the CERTAIN TYPES of soulmates I’d been looking for since I arrived here.