Phantasm

Reflections of sadness
Through an amazing third eye creep
Producing futile lucidness
As magic abandons my dream
Catching your ghost in my workspace
No matter how unreal – Quaking –
Meeting craziness head-on

© Amina Caprice Andolini 2017

Sad, Sad Sparrow

shackled to a door in my Gothic Shrine,
breathing like a sad, sad sparrow:
he’s urging me to say more,
he’s urging me to do more…

all I hear is a grinding, cavernous whine,
bleeding like a dying crow:
he’s urging me to do more,
he’s urging me to be more…

pining in my Shining Gothic Shrine.
dying like a sad, sad sparrow.
feeling like a loner, losing my mind,
looking through the radio…

living on lifeblood and gore –
he’s urging me to do more,
he’s urging me to BE more.

Spiritual Bass – Twin Flame Oddity

What Exactly Is a Twin Flame (Quickly)?
From my understanding, a Twin Flame is an Eternal Soulmate.  Someone known on the Other Side, from past lives, someone you have made a contract with to be with forever.  Obviously, Twin Flames have been together since the beginning, they are the same Soul, split in some way, guiding each other, looking to meet up again.

Not everybody has a Twin Flame.  In fact, some should be grateful for that – it hurts too much when separated.  It is not one of those regular soulmate relationships, full of roses and lollipops, happily living life in the Matrix.  The relationship I speak of isn’t one where Twin Flames fight it out on the same plane either.  This is some of my experience with Twin Flame Oddity, which is a Twin Flame connection made while one is on another plane (or not in physical form).

Sixteen Things About This Oddity
On top of all the other stuff, I am now going through every sign and symptom of a Twin Flame meeting.  I couldn’t believe it.  I couldn’t believe this dude was getting it done from another plane.  I was shocked… Incredible!  I had never heard of anything like this in my life.

  1. After this dude told me his name, I was floored.  I could not believe he was my Twin Flame because we look so different physically, well, when he walked Earth we looked different.  There is a significant age gap; most everything seems to be the opposite externally; however, there are some similarities – some startling.

  2. There was a pull unlike anything I’d ever been through.  he drew me through words, words that I just knew were for me.  it was only then that I felt insane.  I didn’t care about the Guide, the soulmate, the creepy stuff, I thought all that stuff was cool, but after he showed me those words and a bunch of websites that focused on Twin Flames, I lost it, mainly because of the strong pull (the deja vu) and the triggers.

  3. Again, everything was fine when he was my Guide and Soulmate; however, when the Twin Flame Business came into effect, the triggers were too much to handle at times.  I wanted to cancel the whole thing.

  4. There was an awful soul mirror effect.  Just as I could see all the “good” things, all of the negative things were staring me in the face, in living color as I like to say.  It made me angry at times, sometimes I got angry with him, but deep down I knew he only mirrored something I had to fix within.  Even when I got angry with him, he remained smiley and patient.  How’d he do it?  I don’t know.

  5. My belief system changed.  This dude didn’t look like me, but he felt like me.  He knew me although I did not get the opportunity to meet him on Earth, and that in itself is crazy interesting, especially coming from a person who did not really believe in reincarnation, past lives and all that jazz beforehand.  During this time, I flipped and flopped so much that I almost cosigned with the ones who thought I was grieving too hard over my mother, talking to demons, etcetera.

  6. This dude took everything to a Higher degree.  One example: I could see black holes, or voids inside of me with my mind’s eye.  Just by coming close, my Twin Flame filled them up with some kind of purple liquid.  Not only filling my voids, but my heart Chakra grew.  It felt like it was about to burst out of my chest.  In fact, all sorts of things went haywire.  I had myself checked out by a doctor several times.  No new disease had developed.

  7. Crazy things were happening – manifestations, pops and sparkles – things that would scare a “normal” human being.

  8. Speaking of scaring a “normal” human being, studying about the Occult (which only means hidden; hidden knowledge) makes conventional people flee, screaming “Satan!”  Although my views on religion changed drastically, I never signed on with Satan and His Troops.  I see nothing wrong with that if that’s what a person wants to do though.  I have no issue with man-made religion, only the way its rules and regulations keep one trapped in a tiny little box.  God/the Creator/the Source and His Band are too big to fit in anyone’s box.

  9. He communicated as a Spiritual Teacher/Guru/Mentor.  Usually his voice was super quiet; when I asked him a question he’d give me pictures, hints, and try to get me to figure out things on my own.  When he did that, there was a knowing; when I was right, I could feel him smiling, like a teacher giving me an ‘A’ or a gold star.  he was an excellent teacher.  In fact, I used to sing praises to God – I thanked the Creator for creating my Twin Flame and bringing this super smart guy to me.  This was an unconventional situation, but I was grateful nonetheless.

  10. We communicated through writing and the Heart Chakra.  He got really loud with me a few times, not in an angry way, but in a way that sort of “made me understand” the deal.  Many of the Spirits that wanted to communicate with me did it through writing, but he did it the most.  I could write letters to any one of my Spirit Friends and they’d read them.  I know they did because either I’d get a dream of an answer to my problem or I’d get a physical sign alerting me to their presence.

  11. In addition to all the signs mentioned on other websites, I don’t think I’ve seen anything about smoke, a burning, something happening in the Heart (Heart Chakra).  Some kind of physical thing took place when the bond was made.

  12. He had detached himself from his prior Earth life completely.  Because of that, sometimes it seemed as if I was dealing with two different people.  Before I realized what was what, I called my Twin Flame an impostor, especially when he didn’t like talking about his past life.

  13. What he did was enormous.  I couldn’t believe it.  I didn’t want to believe it.  I thought I could have misinterpreted his messages or something.  I thought I read some more into his helping me through grief, telling me about the Spirit World, helping and showing me to my mother, guiding, teaching, his patience, leading me to a Spiritual Journey, being an Unconditional Friend, and so on.  I cannot name all of the positive and “negative” things his Spirit helped me realize.

  14. Logic kicked in.  I’m like, this dude is dead.  Even though those on the Other Side consider themselves alive, I said it anyway.  That’s what it is to a “normal” person… he’s dead, in the grave and everything.  I’m eccentric, but not that eccentric!  Or am I that eccentric?  Too much logic led to more research on a positive note, self-doubt on the low end.

  15. I felt insane when this stuff started happening, and I felt just as (or more) insane when it stopped happening.  I was beyond hysterical when I felt as if his Spirit was about to leave Earth.  I got a feeling, ran in the bathroom and cried.  My Twin Flame followed me and said, “I’ll never leave.”  I don’t know about anyone else, but for me, it took several years to come to grips with all of this stuff.  Years!

  16. His vibration was extremely High.  I couldn’t maintain that level of spirituality (there were physical symptoms).  I was forgetting about Earth (becoming ungrounded), and focusing more on him than on myself (my healing).  He kept reminding me to balance my Energies, of a purpose and some kind of mission.

Introduction of My Spirit Guide & Soulmate

While driving home one morning, a question popped in my head, “what do you want to do?”  I could tell it was a man’s voice – quiet and smiley.  The voice felt different, but at the same time, it felt familiar, as if it was a way too bubbly aspect of me.

There was a strong urge to answer the question, and so I thought about it for a few seconds, blurted something out, and from what I can remember, I continued to have a conversation with myself.  About what?  I don’t remember.

After I arrived home, settled in the house, got in front of the computer and whatnot, I received what I asked for eventually.  I remember being more amused than surprised.  There were other times when the voice asked me something, I’d answer or say something aloud, and my question or concern would solve itself.  What I asked for was small, mostly along the lines of writing – writing a poem or getting over a writer’s block.

The voice drew me to a bunch of websites and a few other things.  all of those things were signs and symptoms of meeting your Spiritual Guide.  Cool, I thought, the voice I’ve been hearing lately is one of my Guides.

My guide started speaking more.  I responded by listening, talking back, and all that jazz.  After a short while, my Guide and I grew closer.  Much closer.  He felt like a Best Friend – an Unconditional Friend.  After he told me his name, he pointed me to more websites indicating that he was “another type” of soulmate.  Soulmate, I thought, okay, I’ve been experiencing all the signs and symptoms of meeting a Guide and a soulmate.  this is like, one of the coolest things ever.

Later on, I could feel his emotions in a strange way.  I only thought it was weird because I had never been through anything this intense before.  Not to my knowledge.  I didn’t know what it was called until I came across a bunch of websites about empaths.  I’m like, okay, I’ve been experiencing the signs and symptoms of a Guide, a soulmate, and an Empath.  Cool.  I started remembering things from the past, things like going through this Empath stuff, the starseed stuff, the Guides, visitations, OBEs, Spiritual Ascension and a lot more stuff beginning around the age of three or four (which is why I like using pictures of when I was three and four years old as profile pictures).  I was troubled and didn’t know what I was troubled about.  Now I know.

I felt him hanging around; looking, listening, I thought, cool, he’s protecting me.  I felt protection, but i felt other things too.  In addition to talking mind-to-mind, he started talking to me in pictures.  I could feel a creepy touch sensation; I started to have visions, vivid daydreams and night dreams – dreams that felt like trips to another place.  I didn’t know what any of it was called until I came across a bunch of sites that mentioned telepathy, how Spirits communicate, other realms, and so many more.  The only way I can describe this is, it felt like (and still feels) as if I received and stored a lot of information.  That information releases itself little by little, as my consciousness grows, or once I’ve proven myself to understand and/or accept the messages.  I feel that it will take several years to understand all of the downloaded information, and for “whatever’s going to happen afterwards” to materialize – downloaded information – when I received the idea for a novel as a child; other ideas as well.

I was tired, grieving, going through all sorts of signs and symptoms at the same time, and on top of all of that, it felt like another portal had opened up in my house (either that or I was more sensitive to the Spirits that had always been there).  “Good” and “Bad” Spirits showed up – from the ones we read about all the time, to dead relatives, little gremlins, demons, what have you.  I was going through so much that I didn’t care about the big bad wolf (Satan).  I was too tired.  I thought, if something kills me, at least I’ll get some good rest out of the deal.