Internal negative energies/dark forces masquerade as Light, which is why it’s extremely hard for some people to know the differences between enlightened and unenlightened information. To put it bluntly, some people cater to too many demons. They are blind; they honestly don’t know the difference between the Light and the Dark. SIMPLE SOLUTION: Get rid of internal demons by finding God/Unconditional Love within. We all have God’s Truth/His Word written within…
The secret puzzle hidden in your name,
Is the most fragrant blossom I suppose,
The moon’s flow is apt for this grand bouquet,
Of magnificent works of hopeless prose.
Composed for the likes of your Higher Self,
Though prose could never offer true acclaim,
Repeating patterns of the number twelve,
Raises awareness, strange pains, and heartache.
Deriving from the heart space are visions,
Past the dense Earth’s air, they have not changed much,
Said events push forth by the Universe.
In His crazy Light, I gladly immerse.
((by Amina Caprice Andolini 👽))
🕊🕊🕊 Colorful Seven
“Like psychedelic snakes in the vortex, communication knows of the Love I have for the Universe. Through an Empathic Heart – green and wide open – up through blue words, up through the Crown’s dust, then back and through each question. Like snakes in the vortex, they creep ’round each cog; fine tuning each cog, slinking ’round each core’s colorful seven.” 🕊🕊🕊 – by Amina Caprice Andolini
In Soulmates Along the Path, I mentioned reading and appreciating other people’s definitions. I discussed a few of my own experiences with soulmates in the Soul Friend, the Kindred Spirit Soulmate, and now, Eternal Soulmate Groups Parts I and II…
The deep, inexplicable, depressing pain I experienced after the Cosmic Sleeper Soulmate left me behind was nothing compared to the shock – shock when I found out about my mother’s cancer. Shock because I became her caretaker. Nothing compared to the shock I felt after she passed away back in 2008, the day after my daughter’s 14th birthday. As I mentioned in some other blog, I had a real heart ache. I didn’t know a person’s heart could hurt like that; pains radiating outward and inward like the sun’s rays. It felt like someone squeezed all the life out of it, and then continued to squeeze until there was nothing left to squeeze. I did not want to believe that God Himself could be so cruel, to take the person who knew me better than anybody did, the one who could figure out what was wrong with me before I even told her, the one who gave me what I came to know as unconditional love.
I didn’t know if I was dying or not, but in all honesty, I wanted to die. Anything could feel better than this, I thought. Not only did I not know anything about the heart ache jazz, I didn’t know or believe in a lot of things before my strange ordeal took place.
The year was 2009 (almost exactly six months after my mother passed away). I have always “heard” things, so when I heard a Voice from the Sky talking to me, I did not pay much attention to it. To me, it was a plain old case of mental telepathy. I thought it was, I don’t know who or what I thought it was 😳. Honestly, I didn’t care about a lot of things that took place after my mother’s death. I’m like… what could be worse than this! Anyway, after a series of events took place, including the Voice dropping a bunch of clues as to what his name was when he walked Earth, materializing and bringing friends, the Voice alluded to being one of my Guides. The Voice was my Guide; he came across as an Unconditional Friend, someone who knew my mom, but I knew there was something else going on with him. My Guide seemed bored, as if he didn’t want to come to Earth. I could feel him lingering around, watching, protecting, picking at his fingernails and doing this thing like falling asleep. I felt his thoughts as they drifted off to another place.
I didn’t know much about telepathy, the sixth sense, whatever you wanna call it. All I knew is that I could do it sometimes. I didn’t know much about Guides, Angels, what have you, so I thought my Guide was bored of me. Bored because I was so hardheaded, because I questioned him so much, because I spoke to him like I would speak to an old friend (his Energy felt familiar, as if I’d known him forever). I thought he got tired of me doubting around, trying to make sure he wasn’t some evil Spirit, one slobbering around, trying to take advantage of my grief. I knew he was a nice guy, so nice that I felt bad for the need to question him so much. Coming from a Christian background, one where a good number of sheep run around paranoid, thinking everyone and everything is a demon from the pit, it was in my nature to make sure he was who he said he was. I didn’t know of any other way to do it. These things (telepathy, protection, empathic skills, etcetera) came so easy to me at the time, I thought I could have been a witch. I didn’t know. I had to do a lot of reading just to come to grips with being able to speak with a Spirit through my Heart Chakra in that way. During that time, I had issues with religion and so many other things in the Matrix, since the things I could see with my own eyes were way different from some of the things I’d been taught to believe my entire life. They were different but they didn’t feel wrong. Also, I wasn’t sure who to pray to, and so while meditating, I said “I’m talking to the One Who Created All.” I had no time for mental tricks, comical ghosts and all those other wise cracking spirits. I wanted real answers. Who better to go to for protection than to the One who created Satan, demons, the evil things and the things we think are evil? Who better to go to for the Truth than to the Master Creator – to the One Who Created All?
I could tell my Guide tried his best not to scare me. He didn’t want me to get all nervous, paranoid, whatever you call it, and send him away. I could feel his sadness, his patience; I knew he was the one sending telepathic thoughts about Spirit communication, the Afterlife, and other random things. He felt like such an old friend. We’d grown to be even closer friends; the best of friends. We used to laugh and play around all the time, still, I was puzzled as to why he materialized in the first place. We were friends and all, but with him, if I asked him something he didn’t always answer me directly. He didn’t try to keep anything from me either. He was into sending messages; finding ways for me to figure out the answer on my own.
I wanted to know why he hung around me so much. I knew “being a Guide” wasn’t his only reason for visiting me. Soon I started to get all of these directions towards Spirits, the differences between the “Good” Spirits and the “Bad” Spirits, Ghosts (the difference between ghosts and Spirits), stuff about God, Satan, religion (the difference between religion and spirituality), the Afterlife, all sorts of wonderful instruments to research.
After I’d learned a bit more about Spirits, spirituality, the Afterlife and such, I got this crazy pull to sites that mentioned the different kinds of soulmates. There was a rather unusual pull to Twin Flames – I can’t explain how strong the pull was. I kept on going to sites that spoke of Twin Flames, from the sickly sweet sites to the more technical ones. I must admit, early on in the journey, during the “bubble phase,” I did not understand what certain people talked about – Higher Self, 4 and 5D, Graduate Souls, merging the five bodies, Kundalini Energy, the 12 chakra system, burning templates, the healing potential, and so on. I didn’t understand what felt like their irritation regarding the sickly sweet sites either. Those sites helped me out so much! Later on, I understood that the irritation was more so for the people who thought the bubble love phase is all there is to a Twin Flame union.
Hold up… soulmate? Twin Flame? I had never heard of a “Twin Flame” in my life!
There was a need to find out who this Spirit dude really was, to find out everything I could about different types of soulmates, the Twin Flame consciousness and what it meant.
Growing up, I felt as if God cursed me with super sensitivity. I saw no good in being able to feel others so intensely. I felt like an alien in an ugly human suit. I thought, so many humans had powerful looking suits, but mine had a thin chest on it. My heart was too big, bruised and had antennas sticking out of it. To me, it looked like raw chicken liver. I thought, it’s too painful to let so many people walk around in here, and so I came across to others as shy, nervous, anxious, depressed, standoffish, aloof, stuck up, and etcetera.
Obviously, as a kid, I had no idea was going on with me. I’d feel a certain way; could pick up energies from people and things. Sometimes their energy affected me as if it was my energy, sometimes I didn’t know what was what. Confusion caused me to cosign with low vibrational bandwagons. In some cases, I just couldn’t lower myself (at least not for long), other situations turned out horribly wrong and/or embarrassing. I felt guilty for trying to be more “human;” to have tougher skin. I didn’t understand why I did some things, couldn’t do others. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I knew deep down that low vibrations affected me emotionally and sometimes physically. Why? Sometimes I welcomed the energy, other times I was scared of people and things (this includes music, movies, reading and writing certain materials). There was pain in those things. They made me feel something odd (low) or familiar (High).
Many times, I’d choose to stay to myself, I didn’t understand it and I didn’t want to bring other people down to my depressing level. I used to cry for absolutely no reason at all. I was horribly depressed. For what? I didn’t know! All I knew was whatever pain I experienced was subtle and unbearable. I felt all kinds of negative emotions coming from all directions. I could also feel positivity. I could feel my mother’s prayers. I could feel my aunts, some other family members and Invisible People (/weird). It was like an Invisible Brotherhood or something (I guess those were my Spirit Friends). They prayed that I’d find the strength to school myself on the subject, pick myself up and live a normal life – the life I came here to live. I felt Unconditional Love, but my self-esteem had sunk so low, that I didn’t believe anyone could care for me in an unconditional fashion. I had forgotten what unconditional was – until my mom reminded me. When she died, I had to learn to love myself unconditionally. It was hard; took many years, especially with other people’s emotions getting in the way of mine, but now I feel that my self-esteem is up to where it should be. It is along the lines of where it SHOULD BE for starters, not where it OUGHT TO BE for abundance (if that makes sense).